That double as strong relationship advice, too.
You’ve been invited to a wedding. You bought a new suit or dress and, perhaps, some new shoes. You shopped for a lovely gift and spent 15 minutes in front of the wedding cards, carefully selecting the perfect one.
But, wait … shouldn’t you write some wedding wishes or something a little personal inside? Merely signing your name feels so wrong.
When you don’t know what to write in a wedding card, here are 6 wedding wishes to share with the newlywed couple that double as great relationship advice.
1. “Congratulations on your marriage!”
When I was a young woman, my mother warned me to never congratulate a bride for getting married. She told me that it would make her sound like an old maid who just got lucky. However, I also remember that it was okay to congratulate the groom who, presumably, did just land a catch!
Perhaps, if you must congratulate them, say something like this: “Congratulations! It’s not easy to find the love of your life, but you did. Now that you’ve found each other, remember to nourish your relationship always.”
2. “Best wishes on …”
This is a good saying, but a little lazy. Best wishes for what?
How about: “Best wishes for a life filled with love, good health, happiness, and abundance in all things. To create this life together, dream your wildest dreams, your highest aspirations, and speak them often. Be specific about your shared vision and remember to visit it often!”
3. “Make sacred the space between you.”
Say something like: “Between the two of you, there is a space. It is there that your relationship lives. You are both completely responsible for sanctifying that space. Remember to fill it with careful listening, deep compassion, respect, kind gestures, and affection. Your future children will live in the space you create–make it sacred!”
4. “Learn to say ‘Hello’ and ‘Good-bye’.”
By this, I mean something like: “All of life is coming together and going apart. Remember to greet one another with eye gaze, kind words, hugs, and kisses when you wake up in the morning, when you leave for the day, when you come home at night and before you go to sleep. Small moments of connection mean the world to the health of your marriage!”
5. “Live by the Platinum Rule.”
You’ve heard of the Golden Rule, right? “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” That’s a nice sentiment, but in a good marriage, it’s far better to live by the Platinum Rule.
You could write: “Always remember the Platinum Rule: do unto one another as your spouse would have you do! Learn each other’s Love Languages and offer your love in the way that nourishes each of you the best.”
6. “Turn towards one another.”
There are so many ways to make bids for connection in marriage. Let the newlyweds know what to do when their partner is seeking love or attention.
Say something like, “Always turn towards one another with love and attention. Never turn away, causing each other to feel neglected or ignored. Never ever turn against one another in anger, frustration or contempt. Learn to communicate well in order to stay deeply connected.”
Writing some version of these pieces of marriage quotes and advice is sure to get your card saved for years to come. So, enjoy the wedding ceremony and hope that your new shoes don’t hurt your feet!
Mary Kay Cocharo is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice in West Los Angeles, California. For more information, visit her website.
This article was originally published at Mary Kay Cocharo, LMFT. Reprinted with permission from the author.