Happy Mother’s Day!
This Sunday is Mother’s Day and chances are, if you are reading this, you have a mother. Unless you’re some sort of alien life form who looks like a human clone and can read minds in which case, what number am I thinking of?
Either way, at some point, a woman had to either push you out of her vagina or have you ripped out of her belly region.
I like to keep things light but I do feel I need to say the following: It doesn’t actually matter if you’re mother had you biologically or not. That’s not what makes a mother.
We joke about all the side effects of child birth like peeing when you sneeze and stretch marks we are proud of.
But please remember, the person you consider your maternal caretaker; the one person you can always count on no matter what time of night; the one woman who means the world to you and shows you that you are her world … that’s your mother.
And if that person has passed on, this day may be hard. No, it WILL be hard.
But feel blessed in knowing you had the relationship that so many women can only dream of having with their mother.
OK! Now, back to fun nonsense!
If you’re a mother, then you are probably reading this holding one child by the hand at the doctor’s office making sure they don’t knock over the AARP display while trying to get 3 minutes of pure, uninterrupted mommy time.
Or, more than likely, what I do is hide in the bathroom. Except, there’s no hiding.
I can literally be in the middle of the best poop of my life (you know the kind; the one where you feel ten pounds lighter afterward and you actually sense the emptiness inside) and your toddler walks in and asks for more water or juice.
Maybe you’re sitting on the couch for the first time in 8 hours, just looking for something funny to read while your kid plays with his/her legos.
But don’t think you get off that easy. If it’s quiet for too long, you know there’s trouble.
Because no matter what they are doing, working, pooping, shopping, attending to medical issues, they’re still mothering.
It’s a 24/7 (sometimes thankless) job with barely any breaks.
So if you have a mother you’d like to thank, give a shout to, or just make laugh for a minute, we’ve gathered a collection of the best Mother’s Day memes and funny mom quotes for you to share on Facebook.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!
P.S. I hope you get to poop in peace!
1. You know I’m your fave.
“Happy mother’s day from your favorite child.”
2. Give your mom a hug today.
“I don’t always tell my mother how much I love her, but when I do, it’s not on Facebook.”
3. Thanks, Mom.
“There’s a legend that if you go take a shower and scream out lout ‘Mom!’ three times, a nice lady appears bringing the towel you forgot.”
4. Better do what she wants…
“It’s mother’s day – worship me!!!!!”
5. Happy mother’s day!
“Happy mother’s day, mom! I was going to serve you breakfast in bed, but I ate it.”
6. Sometimes I love you TOO much…
“Happy mother’s day. It’s almost like we’re the same person.”
7. Don’t you love mother’s day?
“I love mother’s day. I get to see pictures of everyone’s mom on facebook.”
8. As long as it’s only once a day.
“For enduring the bloodcurdling torture of my adolescent years I promise to always keep your electronics functional.”
9. *sniff* SO true!
“Not always eye to eye. But always heart to heart.”
“If Momma ain’t happy. Ain’t nobody happy.”
12. Enough said. Exactly!
“Job Description: Mom. Enough said.”
13. Yeah … I’ve done that.
“Happy Mother’s Day Mom! I was going to serve you breakfast in bed but I ate it.”
14. No, YOU’RE crying!
“Mothers hold their children’s hands for a short while, but their hearts forever.”
15. I gained the ability to pee when I sneeze.
“Being a mother is not about what you gave up to have a child, but what you’ve gained from having one.”
16. Nope. My real name is Mommy!
17. My cape is in the laundry.
“Moms! Not all superheroes wear capes!”
18. I am perfect, damnit!
“Mum, I just want to say congratulations … I turned out perfectly.”
19. Yes, my bitches!
“Happy Mother’s Day to all my bitches.”
20. Well, maybe just ONE more.
“Mom. You do so much for me. You are always working so hard. So I’ve been thinking, and I’ve decided that I’m not going to ask for any more favors.”
21. I love this!
“Mom, a title just above Queen.”