A friend’s betrayal can break your heart more than love.
Betrayal brings up a lot of emotions for me. When I put my trust in someone, I expect them to honor that trust. I don’t just throw my trust around like it’s nothing, and you probably don’t, either.
But even then, I have a hard time putting my trust in people who I don’t know all that well. Perhaps you feel differently, but I don’t readily tell classmates or coworkers or gym buddies about my personal life or share secrets with them until I get to know them better.
When I can call someone a friend, then I know my secrets are safe with them. But when I’m betrayed by a friend, I feel a lot of emotions at once. I feel hurt that someone I thought cared about me could turn around and stab me in the back. I feel mad at myself for opening up to someone so easily (even if it wasn’t my fault and wasn’t as easy as I think). I feel lost because now I’ve lost someone I thought was my friend.
Being betrayed by just anyone is hard. But when you’ve been betrayed by someone you thought was your best friend, it can change you.
Rather than continuing to be the friendly, trusting person everyone knows, you might start hiding things from people or becoming more closed off.
Going so long being able to open up to someone you cared about until one day you suddenly can’t really makes you treat the same situations differently. You can’t ask your best friend for help anymore or tell her about a secret you’ve been holding in forever.
Now you have to figure things out on your own until you can find another best friend. And let me tell you — replacing a best friend isn’t like replacing an old shirt with a hole in it; it’s more like replacing your favorite bra. You know, the one that makes your boobs look incredible and maybe even a size bigger in the right light. The one you’ve had for years, yet somehow still has more support than ever. The one that looks good under any top and feels like you’re not wearing a bra at all. Oh yeah, and the one that’s been discontinued for five years.
Needless to say, replacing a best friend sucks BIG TIME. And when you’re left without a best friend — AKA the bra that was made by the gods themselves — you feel off-your-game and just wrong.
But it’s important to remember that being betrayed by your best friend isn’t your fault. You’re the victim here, not her. And if you’ve ever read any quotes when someone hurts you, then you know that blaming the victim is only something someone does when they feel bad about hurting you.
So after you read these quotes and mourn a little bit, block her number, join a yoga class, and find someone who can potentially be your new best friend.
On losing trust.
“It’s hard to trust somebody when the one person who you completely opened up to is the person who later completely betrayed you.”
On finding out who your real friends are.
“As we get older, we don’t lose friends. We just find out who the real ones are.”
On enemies and friends.
“Better to have an enemy who slaps you in the face than a friend who stabs you in the back.”
On being loyal.
“It’s funny how sometimes the people you’d take a bullet for are the ones behind the trigger.”
On breaking someone’s trust.
“Lovers have a right to betray you; friends don’t.” — Judy Holliday
On understanding betrayal.
“The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies.”
On the support of friends.
“Friends are supposed to be there for you when you cry, not the reason you cry.”
On being stabbed in the back.
“It’s hard to tell who has your back from who has it long enough just to stab you in it.” — Nicole Richie
On loyalty and disloyalty.
On words and actions.
“I trusted you, but now your words mean nothing because your actions spoke the truth.”
On the pain of betrayal.
“The worst pain in the world goes beyond physical. Even further beyond any other emotional pain on can feel. It is in the betrayal of a friend.” — Heather Brewer
On the repercussions of betraying a friend.
“Betray a friend and you’ll often find you have ruined yourself.” — Aesop
On the loyalty of others.
“Some people aren’t loyal to you… they are loyal to their need of you. Once their needs change, so does their loyalty.”
On limiting how far you’ll go for someone.
“Stop swimming across oceans for people who won’t jump a puddle for you.”
On seeing people for their actions.
“An honest enemy is always better than a friend who lies. Pay less attention to what people say and more attention to what they do. Their actions will show you the truth.”
On the people who make themselves the victims.
“Beware the person who stabs you and then tells the world they’re the ones bleeding.” — Jill Blakeway
On realizing who your true friends are.
“I didn’t lose a friend, I just realized I never had one.”