Is She Flirting With Me and What Do I Do?

It’s true that with all of the rules and traditions that have existed in our society, men are usually the ones who make the first move instead of women. That said, the norm has been changing! Things are starting to evolve and the notion of gender parity is beginning to be more and more at the forefront of our minds. Seduction is becoming less and less one-sided as women start taking matters into their own hands and don’t want to wait around for another person to determine what’s going to happen with their love life. The result is that there are more and more men who are realizing that their woman was the one who made the first move. Do you want the same thing to happen to you? Then you need to be open to seduction, even if it’s subtle and direct! In this article, I am going to go over how to make her want to flirt with you, and what to do if you’re thinking, “Is she flirting with me?” and aren’t sure how to react!

Whether you’re a real-life Casanova or if you find seduction to be rather challenging, being hit on by a woman can totally catch you off guard. As the situation is reversed, even a man who is very comfortable with going and flirting with women can feel awkward and unsure of himself when a woman comes on to him first…

I’m going to explain to you why this isn’t anything to get stressed over, and how your attitude needs to revolve around one element: being at ease. Keep reading to learn about the best approach you can have, and if you have any questions at all about this kind of reversed seduction, please don’t hesitate to leave a comment at the bottom of this article.

Why women flirt with men

What’s going on? Is she flirting with me right now? What’s she going to ask me?

This is the first reaction that a man has when he’s being hit on by a woman… And then he realizes how great it is to meet a zealous woman and begins to savor the moment. It’s true that we don’t often get to meet a woman who takes matters into her own hands when it comes to seduction. When a guy sees someone he likes, he often has to make his move quickly and show her that he’s interested.

Is she flirting or am I dreaming? Well, we are in the 21st century, man!

So what do you do when she’s the one deciding and not you? In order to have the answer to this question, we need to look at why she’s flirtatious. Is she a man-eater, or did she simply like you so much that she couldn’t let the opportunity passer her by? It’s pretty nice to feel as attractive as Brad Pitt or Will Smith, right?!

When she is flirting, she’s going to ask you all of the questions that come to mind. You wonder this is a good sign for you, because you’re having trouble analyzing signs that women are interested, and you might even when it wondering if she’s a bit nuts…

Some men have trouble making a move and speaking to a woman they’re interested in, so if a woman is clearly flirting with you right now, it could mean that she simply got tired of waiting around for you to make the first move.

Having a woman come up to you and blatantly flirt with you isn’t something that happens all the time but when it does, take advantage of the opportunity. If she has the courage to come and approach it means that you caught her attention and she’s very interested. Even if this doesn’t happen all the time, it’s still quite nice and gratifying.

She is flirting: The real reason why!

“If she is flirting with me, it’s because she doesn’t want to miss out on the opportunity of being with me!”

It’s true, if she had to wait for you she might miss out on the experiences that she was already imagining having with you. So you’re very lucky that she’s approaching you because she’s simplifying things… you don’t have to come up with clever pick-up lines in order to seduce her – she’s already taken care of the hardest part. That said, this is a turn off for some men. Yes, men are complicated and sometimes they’re not interested if it’s too easy!

When you begin to pick up on signs a woman is flirting, any man will become nervous and his heart rate will increase. He might even hesitate because he’s nervous! You have to remember that women are just as afraid of rejection as you are – and sometimes even more so. Their ego can take a blow, but she might also accidentally look like she’s easy!

It’s also possible that you meet a beautiful stranger that doesn’t know where to flirt with guys so she turns to you. She could be a tourist passing through looking for a guy who would be open to taking things a bit further…

You should also be aware of the possibility that this is a seductress and she sees you like a challenge or a target. She may just want to have fun with you – but nothing more. In this case, you have to set your own boundaries. Generally speaking, it’s pretty easy to recognize these types of girls at a party, so don’t hesitate to ask your friends what they think about it if you aren’t sure… That said, there are certain signs of a woman is flirting with you and has good intentions.

How to tell if a woman is flirting with you…

If you have a platonic relationship with this woman and you’re not sure about how to read her, there aren’t million different explanations. She either wants to be your friend or she’s hitting on you. You’re just having trouble deciphering whether she’s just friendly or if she’s flirting with you. In this case, take initiative and choose what you would prefer, whether it’s friendship or something more. If it’s the latter, be careful to avoid falling into the friend zone.

If her look is pretty sexy, it means that she takes care of herself and she enjoys feeling attractive, so don’t hesitate to flirt back! Go for it! You will find out if she’s just a tease or not if she takes two-steps back when you take one step towards her.

Analyzing her behavior will give you the answer to “Was she flirting with me?”

Generally speaking, her body language is going to be the biggest telltale sign she’s flirting. Very often, a woman who’s interesting is going to begin by getting physically close to you. She will often try to sit close to you, and she might touch your shoulder. These are just some of the signs she’s flirting!

However, if she’s barely talking to you, or if she’s keeping her arms crossed, or if she’s avoiding looking you in the eye, or if she’s trying everything in order to avoid you… Well, don’t think that she’s trying to seduce you.

When she always comes to you for help with certain things, for example at the gym, it probably means that she is attracted to you. Think about it, in these types of places she could choose anybody to ask for a hand, but she’s coming directly to you. This is one of the most obvious signs of a woman who’s flirting with you (unless you happen to just be in the right place at the right time).

Signs a woman is flirting: What to do

It’s normal to be completely caught off guard when a woman starts flirting with you. It can be surprising and sometimes even embarrassing!

1. Pretend to be indifferent when she begins flirting with you

The best thing to do when a woman comes up to you and begins flirting is to do what women do! It is a well-known fact women are experts on pretending to be indifferent and making men want more.

If they do it, why can’t we? Pretend like it doesn’t affect you, and that her advances aren’t having a serious effect on you (even if they are) while introducing the “Chase me and I’ll run” technique. If you do this, her intentions will become more clear.

If she continues despite your attitude, it means that she really wants you! The goal is to throw her off a little bit and use your charm well you shift the power play a little. Women who love flirting with men typically also enjoy a challenge. If she has to work for it a bit it’s highly likely that she will want more.

2. When a woman flirts with you, play her game…

Once you’ve been able to analyze the situation and pinpoint signs of a woman flirting with you, adopt her approach to spice things up! If she touches your arm or your shoulder when she’s talking to you and you can tell that she’s trying to get closer to you, do the same thing.

If you realize that she acts differently around you, she smiles at you or laughs for no reason, then do the same. Just make sure you’re being yourself! Highlight your qualities and put your best foot forward.

If she gently leans towards you to speak, it’s a subtle way to get closer to you. When this happens, subtly lean back as this will make her need to lean even further towards you. This technique is ideal when you are in a noisy venue,like a bar or a concert.

3. When a woman flirts with you, use your charm!

Women love confident men when they are flirting, so don’t be shy! Even if you’re caught off guard at first, shake it off and get back in control of the situation.

Charm and charisma are fundamental elements of seduction, especially when you meet a woman who begins flirting with you. You have to show her that you’re confident and open to being flirted with!

Keep in mind that you need that she shouldn’t have to carry the conversation by herself – even if she’s the one who came to hit on you, make sure that you’re listening to her, but also that you’re in control of the conversation.


You now have the keys for knowing how to tell if she is flirting with you. Now go out and have some fun!

Your coach for knowing what to do when she’s flirting with you,

Apollonia Ponti

Apollonia Ponti is an international dating and relationship coach that has worked with thousands of clients to help boost their confidence and master their attraction skills. She has been seen on ABC, Telemundo, NBC and many more. Apollonia has over 20 MM views on her YouTube channel and over 200,000 site visitors a month. You can find more about Apollonia here www.apolloniaponti.com

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